A Little Life Summary

Description

Here you will find a A Little Life summary (Hanya Yanagihara's book).
We begin with a summary of the entire book, and then you can read each individual chapter's summary by visiting the links on the "Chapters" section.

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Last Updated: Monday 1 Jan, 2024

A Little Life Summary Overview

Following their college years, a tight-knit group of friends - Malcolm, JB, Jude, and Willem - find themselves navigating post-grad life in New York City. Malcolm is frustrated with his perceived lack of success, JB is confident in his artistic future, and Jude and Willem are just grateful for the chance to make their own way in the world. As time goes on, Jude, in particular, stands out among the group. Despite being cast as the “post-man,” someone beyond race, ethnicity, and perhaps even experience, Jude's narrative reveals a deeply troubled past that includes physical, sexual, and emotional abuse. To cope, he cuts himself, regularly visiting a doctor to have his wounds treated. His brilliance as a law student attracts mentors, including a professor named Harold. Harold, taken aback by Jude's intellect and moral arguments, becomes a key figure in his life. Tragedy strikes when Harold's 6-year-old son dies, leading Harold and his wife Julia to make the unusual decision to adopt Jude, then a 30-year-old. The joy of the occasion is slightly marred by the absence of JB, who has upset the group by exploiting Jude's suffering for his art. Jude's past continues to haunt him as he grapples with health issues resulting from his childhood trauma. Eventually, he moves from working in the U.S. Attorney’s office to a wealthy private firm, but struggles to enjoy the financial benefits. His relationship with his friends becomes strained, especially when JB’s mocking of Jude’s disability lands him in the hospital due to drug use. As the narrative progresses, Jude's life tumbles into further turmoil. He begins a relationship with Caleb Porter, a man who abuses him physically and emotionally. The abuses trigger memories from his past, especially of his time with Brother Luke, a man who abducted him as a child and forced him into prostitution. Overwhelmed by his traumatic past, Jude attempts suicide. Despite the outpouring of support from his friends, Jude's mental health continues to deteriorate, leading to self-harm and a strained romantic relationship with Willem. As his friends reach career heights, Jude grapples with the decision to amputate his legs. Tragedy strikes again when Willem, Malcolm, and others die in a car crash. Jude tries to cope by clinging onto memories of Willem and practicing kindness, but he struggles with restricting his food intake and eventually succeeds in a final suicide attempt.

part 1 chapter 1

Financially strapped Jude and Willem can't afford even the simplest New York apartments, much to the amusement of their old college roommates, JB and Malcolm. JB, however, hooks them up with a friend who owns an apartment. She takes a liking to Willem, a handsome guy, but he doesn't reciprocate. Jude assumes Willem avoids female attention to appear less intimidating to male friends. They only worry about the apartment having a functioning elevator since Jude struggles with mobility. JB feels content during his usual Sunday dinner, reminiscing his upbringing by a beloved Haitian grandmother, despite his underachievement as an artist. Upon moving into the Lispenard Street apartment, Jude and Willem face the challenge of a malfunctioning elevator. They work around it using a system where Jude orchestrates unpacking while the others do the lifting. After settling in, they're relieved to have a space of their own, despite its poor condition. Amid an intense pain episode, Jude doesn't want help or to discuss his disability, which Willem finds complex. Willem has seen Jude suffering since college, but never intervened, a fact he regrets. JB lives in a luxurious artist's house and does mundane tasks for an art magazine, hoping to get noticed. He's proud of his Black identity, unlike Malcolm who is less concerned about his mixed heritage, causing a strain in their relationship. Malcolm, 27, lives with his parents and feels burdened by their constant visits and conversations. Life was easier when Jude and Flora, Malcolm's sister, lived with them as the social responsibilities were shared. Now Malcolm is stuck with his parents and struggles to streamline his life.

part 1 chapter 2

JB commutes to his studio in Long Island City, secretly acknowledging his disconnect from the working-class immigrants around him despite sharing the same immigrant background. His studio environment and colleagues boost his sense of identity as an artist. JB's artistic domain is portraits, contrasting with his three colleagues' abstract art and sculpture. Gradually, JB seeks his old college friends as subjects for his art, gaining their approval to use their images on the condition they get final say on exhibited works. Jude emerges as the most interesting yet hesitant subject, leading JB to secretly create his best work from a clandestine photo of Jude. Willem, an actor, works as a waiter at Ortolan, a high-end restaurant that employs actors at different career points. He ponders his career trajectory and personal identity, valuing kindness over ambition. Born into a family of immigrants, Willem grew up caring for his brother Hemming, who has cerebral palsy. When Hemming falls seriously ill, Willem rushes home from college, borrowing money from Malcolm for travel. His parents urge him to stay in college while Hemming's health deteriorates. This results in Hemming passing away alone, a decision Willem regrets. Later, while Willem is in graduate school, his parents pass away. Malcolm, a young architect, works at Ratstar Architects among other ambitious young professionals. His colleagues take a light-hearted approach to work while passionately discussing their artistic principles. After work, a taxi ride home prompts Malcolm to reflect on his racially ambiguous identity, which JB often mocks. Malcolm wishes to transcend racial identity, but JB perceives race as a performative experience and, at one point, only interacted with people of color during college. Malcolm, coming from a wealthy family, struggles to understand the poverty experienced by individuals like Jude. More than his racial identity, Malcolm is vexed by his non-existent love life and his inability to establish himself professionally as an architect. He joined Ratstar to please his parents, passing up the opportunity to join a bolder, riskier firm set up by his friends.

part 1 chapter 3

JB persuades Jude and Willem to throw a New Year's bash, leading to Jude going overboard with the prepping. Willem feels bad, knowing their buddies won't appreciate Jude's excessive effort. Jude unexpectedly wakes Willem, needing urgent care for a severe self-inflicted cut. Unaware of the seriousness and self-inflicted nature of the injury, Willem takes him to Dr. Andy Contractor. After attending to Jude, Andy privately informs Willem about Jude's self-harming tendencies and instructs him to keep a close eye on Jude for any signs of suicidal behavior. Once back home, as Jude rests, Willem touches the scarred reminders of Jude's self-harm on his arms. He recalls a past holiday during which Malcolm shared his concerns about Jude's self-mutilation. Willem had inadequately challenged Jude then, allowing him to divert attention, a recurring behavior pattern. He also recalls a recent incident of waking up terrified about Jude's safety, finding bloody clothes in the bathroom. Chastising himself for disregarding Jude's harmful tendencies, Willem decides to confront him. However, Jude's heartfelt apology leaves him helpless to continue the conversation. Despite Willem's suggestion, Jude insists they can't cancel the party, citing multiple practical reasons. When Malcolm and JB arrive, they accidentally lock themselves on the roof, without coats or phones. Jude proposes they lower him to the fire escape. Despite its riskiness, they go along with the idea as Jude is the only one who can untangle the complex wire lock he'd installed on his window. Willem grapples with guilt and anger while watching Jude attempt to unlock the window. Unable to succeed due to the distance, cold, and his bandaged arm, Willem jumps after him. Embracing Jude, he leans forward, opens the lock, and gets them inside. In the warmth of their room, Jude instructs Willem to help their friends while he tends to his arm.

part 2 chapter 1

Jude embarks on a long, introspective Sunday walk through New York City, reminiscing about his initial college years and his encounters with Brother Luke. He appreciates his adulthood and sees his unattractive Lispenard Street apartment as a symbol of freedom. He mentors a 12-year-old boy named Felix, who reminds him of his own early years. Despite being well-educated and astute, Jude carries the scars of an abusive past, evident through his lack of personal stories. Among his friends, he only trusts Willem completely. When asked about the damage to his legs, he lies about a car accident. Ana, a social worker, helped Jude recover from his traumatic past and guided him through his preparation for college. However, Jude still guards his secrets closely, fearing too much revelation about his past. Jude works in Judge Sullivan’s office, a position procured through his law professor, Harold. Harold also guides him through the world of law and hires him for a special constitutional legal analysis. Intimidated by Harold's kindness, Jude keeps a distance, fearful due to past experiences of men wanting sexual favors in return for kindness. Jude's main academic interest lies in pure math, but he chooses law for financial security. He becomes a regular at Harold’s dinner parties and grows fond of the warmth between him and his friends. Despite their close relationship, Harold stops asking about Jude’s past, respecting his privacy. Jude’s doctor, Andy, warns him about his deteriorating health. He urges Jude to see a therapist due to his self-harming tendencies. Jude becomes self-conscious about his disabilities and wonders if his friends are just sympathizing with his needy condition. Jude reflects on his monastic life, the abuse he suffered, and his futile search for his birth parents. His worst memories include being caught stealing and being sexually abused as punishment. The only kindness he recalls is from Brother Luke, whose influence has left a deep imprint on him. After his long walk, he realizes that this is his life now - dominated by his past and a future filled with pain.

part 2 chapter 2

Harold pens down his thoughts to Willem about their mutual friend, Jude. He recollects his initial interactions with the quartet, particularly noting Jude's distinct behavior and Willem's attentive care for Jude's silent necessities. Harold, raised by a medical practitioner father and a warm-hearted stepmother, eventually ties the knot with an unemotionally efficient cancer specialist. Their time together is sparse. The unexpected pregnancy is carried through due to a lack of decision, resulting in the birth of Jacob More. This bestows upon Harold a newfound comprehension of fear as the crux of parenthood. Jacob's passing, however, provides Harold with a sigh of relief as the fear dissipates. In his reverie, Harold also dwells on Jude's law school journey. The objective of which is to deconstruct the mind for reconstruction. Jude's impressive memory and problem-solving skills are hindered by his intense morality. Harold engages his students with a conventional legal conundrum that tests their sense of justice while imparting the application of law. However, Jude distinguishes between what is "fair" and what is "right." This shift from moral to legal thinking, which Harold instigates, makes him feel as if he has failed Jude.

part 2 chapter 3

Right before Thanksgiving, Jude receives an unexpected painting from JB, which originally sparked a disagreement among their group of friends. JB had organized his debut exhibition titled "The Boys," a year ago, showcasing paintings of his buddies. Despite promising to seek Jude's approval prior to displaying his portraits, JB breaks his promise and exhibits a painting of Jude emerging from a personal crisis. Albeit awed by JB's artistic prowess, Jude is initially enraged by JB's deceit and subsequent lack of remorse for his actions. Willem sides with Jude while Malcolm attempts to mediate, but the rift continues to widen. Despite their individual professional achievements, it's the receipt of this painting that ultimately reunites them. Jude extends his gratitude to JB in a note and donates the painting to MoMA. Harold and Julia's Thanksgiving celebration starts in typical fashion—Harold meticulously planning but falling short of his expectations. While the dinner table buzzes with lively chatter, Jude finds himself preoccupied. Harold and Julia wish to discuss something important with him. Both Jude and Willem ponder over the potential subject matter, but Willem's lack of knowledge about Jude's past prevents him from easing Jude's concerns. When the time for the conversation arrives, Jude fears Harold and Julia have discovered his secret and are about to ostracize him. Instead, they express their desire to adopt him. This news is met with joy by Willem and Andy, and curiosity by JB and Malcolm. However, Jude is reminded of his previous failed adoption experience and fears a repeat, leading him to self-harm and starve himself. Despite Andy's words of comfort, Jude is convinced Harold will find out about his true nature and abandon him. Andy tends to his wounds and starts nocturnal therapy sessions with him while enforcing a high-calorie diet. During a visit, Jude attempts to discuss his past with Harold. Unable to express his feelings, Harold volunteers to absolve him. Afterward, Jude falls asleep and dreams of the life he could have had if he had been adopted by a family known as the Learys. On the night before the adoption, Jude cooks for the gathering at Harold and Julia's house and sleeps at daybreak. Willem returns early to surprise Jude and Harold gifts Jude a family heirloom—a watch with his initials engraved. JB gifts Harold a portrait of Jude and Willem gives him a statuette of the saint Judas Thaddeus. Ashamed of his gift—a set of recordings and a note revealing his past—Jude hides them in their bookshelf. As the day concludes, Jude and Willem delve into a discussion about the day's happenings. The following week, Jude tells Felix that he hopes to make friends someday.

part 3 chapter 1

JB tricks the boys into going to a party with their lesbian college friends by convincing them that one of the girls is transitioning. Willem attempts to rescue Jude from an uncomfortable conversation, but the party is filled with JB's self-obsessed artist friends who mock others' efforts. Jude slips away while Willem is entangled in a chat, but Willem quickly follows. Philippa, Willem's ex-girlfriend, labels his relationship with Jude as "codependent" and criticizes Willem's steadfastness to his friends as childish instead of reliable. After their breakup, Malcolm's dad chides Willem for his refusal to mature, but Harold comforts Willem by saying he'll find his own way to happiness, regardless of having a partner. Willem views his friendships as more valuable than any romantic relationship he's had, yet feels inadequate as a friend to JB and Jude. Before the adoption, Andy reprimands Willem for letting Jude harm himself. Willem tries to keep a close eye on Jude, but Jude remains guarded. Willem is mostly upset by Jude's secrecy because he yearns to take better care of him. Despite having his own place, Willem largely spends his time at Jude's on Greene Street, considering it home. Being around Jude feels like home to him. On set, Willem is well looked after and never alone. He recalls the moments before shooting, as the hair and makeup team, the Vanities, perfect his appearance. He once asks Jude if he's happy, to which Jude responds that happiness doesn't seem achievable for him. One Sunday morning, Jude wakes up counting his blessings—his family, friends, and a temporary absence of pain. He is taking Malcolm to the tailor since Malcolm might be getting married to Sophie. Jude finds confidence in his suits, particularly when he needs to use a wheelchair.

part 3 chapter 2

Jude is recruited by Rosen Pritchard and Klein, through Lucien Voigt, who is connected to Judge Sullivan. Despite his moral reservations about the job, he accepts it due to financial necessity. Upon returning home one evening, he finds the elevator broken down, leading to a distressing incident where he loses consciousness after hauling his wheelchair up the stairs. His friends Willem and Andy arrive too late to help. Harold scolds Jude for accepting the job at the law firm, but Jude rejects any financial assistance from him, even for purchasing an apartment. The job turns out to be enjoyable for Jude, although he misses the fervour his previous colleagues had for law. To make up for the missing zeal at work, Jude engages in pro bono work with an artist collective where he meets Richard, an old studio mate of JB. Richard offers Jude a chance to buy an apartment in his building, equipped with a large, disability-friendly elevator. Jude recalls the resentment he felt from Willem's girlfriend, Philippa, due to his constant presence in their lives. Despite Willem's assumption that they would grow old together, Jude feels guilty about encroaching on Willem's personal space. After paying off his new apartment, Jude starts saving for a laser surgery to remove his back scars. However, Andy presents him with research indicating the potential risk of reinfection, leading Jude to opt for a scar-reducing cream instead. Meanwhile, Malcolm establishes his own architecture firm, Bellcast, and takes on projects including a museum in Doha and renovations for Willem and Jude's apartments. Jude is initially upset about Malcolm's plan to incorporate disability-friendly features in his apartment, so Malcolm makes them less conspicuous. After discussing Malcolm's prospective wedding, Jude realizes he should be more willing to ask his friends for help, even contemplating asking Willem to apply the scar cream on his back.

part 3 chapter 3

JB is a meth addict. His family attempts to get him professional help, but JB dismisses their efforts. His second art exhibition is titled “Everyone I’ve Ever Known Everyone I’ve Ever Loved Everyone I’ve Ever Hated Everyone I’ve Ever Fucked", showcasing his acquaintances. During the exhibit, he meets Jackson, a wealthy man who introduces him to meth. JB gets involved in Jackson's sexual escapades, engaging in self-harming behaviors while yearning for a “nice white boy.” This relationship with Jackson emerges after JB damages his relationships with friends Jude and Willem. As his friends Malcolm and Sophie grow closer, JB feels isolated. As his friends flourish professionally, JB grows cynical and resentful, particularly towards Jude and Willem. He's stuck in the past, irritated at his friends for their desire for normalcy and their respective friendships, families, and traditions. He learns Jude is a ruthless lawyer. Once, in an attempt to quit drugs, JB called Jude for help; however, Jackson intervenes, leading JB astray. Later, Jackson cruelly mocks Jude’s walk. JB's third art series, “Seconds Minutes Hours Days”, captures his friends during their regular workdays but excludes his own image. The series is deeply personal, yet it also exposes his shortcomings. JB tries to get sober by cleaning his studio during the Fourth of July weekend. But he succumbs to the temptation of drugs and overdoses in his apartment. He wakes up three days later to an intervention staged by his friends. Initially, he cooperates but soon lashes out at them for their perceived absence in his life. He directs his anger at Jude, blaming him for his situation. JB mimics Jackson’s cruel imitation of Jude’s walk, leading to Willem punching him. JB wakes up in the hospital, chained, with Jude by his side. He apologizes profusely to Jude.

part 4 chapter 1

As he nears forty, Jude goes to a funeral for his past math professor, Dr. Kashen. Here, he hears a eulogy from Dr. Li about Dr. Kashen's beloved mathematical axiom, the empty set. The next day, Jude and his friend Willem go to a wedding where they encounter old friends Malcolm and JB. The tension between JB and Jude remains unresolved, with Jude recalling JB's hurtful imitation of him. That night, Jude self-harms. Before Willem leaves for a long filming project, he and Jude share a meal they humorously name “The Last Supper.” During this, Willem's girlfriend Robin tries to matchmake Jude, but he refuses, feeling unable to communicate his fears and insecurities. After leaving the dinner, Jude injures himself again, admitting to himself that he is lonely despite his relative contentment with his limited expectations from life. At a colleague's dinner, Jude meets Caleb Porter, and they later end up on a date. Caleb kisses Jude, who invites him up to his apartment. This marks Jude's first sexual experience since he was fifteen, a moment he doesn't enjoy. However, he appreciates Caleb's company and conversation. But Caleb despises Jude's disability, perceiving it as a weakness and, after three months together, he physically attacks Jude. After suffering nerve damage that affects his ability to walk, Jude endures more violent beatings from Caleb during a weekend getaway. His doctor, Andy, expresses relief when Jude assures him that his injuries aren't self-inflicted. When Caleb shows up drunk at a dinner with Jude's mentor, Harold, Harold threatens to call the police. Later, Caleb attacks Jude brutally again at their apartment, even raping him. In his humiliation and pain, Jude reflects on his favorite mathematical axiom, the axiom of equality, and tragically applies it to his own life, believing that he is destined for abuse and humiliation.

part 4 chapter 2

Trigger warning: This summary discusses self-harm and abusive dynamics. Harold recounts his son Jacob's battle with a rare illness, Nishihara syndrome, which left him virtually lifeless at five. Harold's guilt over his lack of longing for Jacob is soothed by his father's advice on the importance of "recalibration" in parenting. Liesl, however, is more adept at this. Post Jacob's death, Harold and Liesl separate and form new families, but maintain infrequent contact, mainly discussing Jacob. Harold considers adopting Jude, despite Laurence's concerns about the unknown aspects of Jude's past. Harold recalls JB's advice about not questioning Jude excessively and regrets not reassuring Jude that his acceptance is unconditional. Writing to Willem, Harold empathizes over the difficulty of comprehending and adhering to Jude's self-imposed restrictions. Harold is appalled by Jude's relentless court demeanor and berates himself for not safeguarding him from Caleb or from his self-deprecating thoughts. Harold imagines eliminating Caleb and instead finds Jude injured after Caleb's violent episode. Despite Jude's refusal to involve the police, Harold and Andy nurse Jude's injuries and cover up the incident by claiming Jude had a car accident. After cleaning Jude's apartment, changing the locks, and getting rid of Jude's razors, Harold tries to convince Jude of his worth. Jude's offer to revoke the adoption leaves Harold stunned. Andy provides Harold with a medical rundown, and upon returning home, Jude insists on maintaining his independence, declines food, and apologizes for the inconvenience he has caused. Harold tries to persuade Jude that the fault lies with Caleb and broaches the subject of potential sexual abuse, which Jude declines to discuss. As Jude regresses to avoiding physical touch, Harold realizes the extent of emotional repair needed. His thoughts about Caleb shift from violence to wanting an apology and affirmation of Jude's worth.

part 4 chapter 3

Trigger warning: The following mentions rape, sexual abuse, self-mutilation, and pedophilia. In Jude's flashback, he recalls the memories of Brother Luke at the monastery who becomes his friend. They enjoy simple pleasures like working together in the greenhouse and planning an imaginary life in a remote cabin. They eventually run away together in early spring. In the present, Jude tries to erase past traumas, especially those involving Caleb, by immersing himself in work. However, he collapses from overwork, and his friends, Lucien and Andy have to intervene. He wins a significant lawsuit but is haunted by his past, causing his self-harming behaviors to worsen. Jude contemplates suicide and makes peace with Harold and Willem before harming himself severely. The young Jude and Brother Luke change their appearances and move to Texas, where they keep a low-profile living in a motel. Jude is homeschooled by Brother Luke, who also spends his time searching for their dream cabin. One day, Brother Luke confesses that they lack the finances to buy a cabin and coerces Jude into prostitution. Jude soon realizes that the dream of the cabin is a facade and that he won't escape the abuse. After Jude contracts an STD, he becomes aware of the normalcy he lacks. Jude survives his suicide attempt and wakes up in a psychiatric hospital, with Willem by his side. He avoids talking to the hospital's psychiatrist, Dr. Solomon, and agrees to monitoring and supervision in exchange for his release. Willem stays in New York to be near Jude and persuades Jude to go on a belated birthday trip to Morocco. When they return, Jude's memories resurface, and he starts self-harming again. During a nightmare, Willem asks about Jude's trauma, and Jude agrees to share his past. In his early years, Jude would sleep excessively and self-harm as a form of escape. He pleads Brother Luke to stop prostituting him after being raped by multiple men, but Brother Luke insists they need the money. In Montana, the police arrest Brother Luke (whose real name is Edgar Wilmot), and he commits suicide. Jude is questioned by authorities, and despite his confusion about the abuse, he is grateful for his education provided by Brother Luke.

part 5 chapter 1

Willem, a persistently anxious actor, gains popularity at 38 from his role in The Sycamore Court. During a public lunch with Jude, his recognition affords them privileges. Following Jude's suicide attempt, Willem moves into Jude's apartment on Greene Street, feeling guilt and distress over the stories Jude has shared about his past hardships. They've arrived at this storytelling arrangement due to Jude's refusal to see a therapist. Jude and Willem reconcile with their friend JB after an argument. Willem confesses to JB that Jude harbors more self-hatred than anyone else they know, including JB himself. JB's latest art show is titled "The Narcissist’s Guide to Self-Hatred." When Jude discovers his tormentor Caleb is dead, he reacts violently, hiding his turmoil from friends who call to check in. Willem films another movie, Uncle Vanya, close to Jude despite his agent Kit's concern. Willem's affection for Jude is rooted in their mutual comfort and Jude's grounding effect on him amid fame. Willem appreciates the family atmosphere provided by Jude, Harold, and Julia. During a snowy walk, Willem bumps into Andy at a restaurant and confesses his love for Jude. Andy supports the relationship but warns Willem of its gravity. Sensing Willem's distress, Jude inquiries, leading Willem to admit his feelings. Initially hesitant, Jude agrees to explore a relationship with Willem at a slow pace, enjoying simple touches. Willem receives singing lessons from Jude for a new movie. Jude also reveals his past with Caleb to Willem in an effort to overcome his sexual revulsion. All their friends, except JB, are pleased for them. JB reacts poorly, believing he should be Willem's partner instead of Jude. Willem is saddened that Jude is terrified of intimacy. While Willem won't publicly announce his homosexuality, he won't hide his relationship with Jude either, causing issues with his management. The media uncovers their relationship, and Willem worries about Jude's exposure to the press and the physical discomfort he might encounter. But Jude's reassurance reminds Willem their relationship is a partnership, not a rescue mission.

part 5 chapter 2

Content warning: The following includes mentions of self-abuse and sexual assault. Jude enjoys his relationship with Willem. They enjoy a farewell meal at an expensive sushi restaurant before Willem leaves for work. Along with Malcolm, they construct a holiday house in a wooded area near a lake. Jude admires Malcolm's work, recalling the miniature houses they made in college and an incident where JB burnt one, hurting Malcolm. Despite disliking sex, Jude endures it for Willem's sake. Jude's revelation about his sexually transmitted infections leaves Willem with unresolved queries. This sexual dynamic leads to Jude harming himself more frequently and violently, causing arguments. Willem attempts to convince Jude he doesn't deserve harm, but Jude can't articulate the relief he feels from self-harm. One night, Willem catches Jude in the act, takes the blade, and harms himself. Lucien retires and Jude takes over handling the company's wage packages. As Willem's homecoming nears, Jude's painful memories become more vivid. Despite having coping mechanisms, he contemplates suicide. Instead, he burns his arm, mirroring a past incident. The burn worsens, and his friend Andy gives him an ultimatum to reveal his situation to Willem. Upon returning, Willem is concerned about Jude, though he avoids probing too much into their sexual relationship. Jude and Willem visit Harold and Julia for Thanksgiving, where an angry call from Andy about Jude's burn forces Willem to confront Jude about his past. A tense dinner ensues, followed by a confrontation where Jude self-harms and accuses Willem of acting like his past abusers. Willem leaves out of frustration but they both return to New York. After discussing the incident with Andy, Willem reconciles with Jude and encourages him to seek help. Jude opens up fully to Willem and starts therapy the next day. Jude suffered further abuse at a Montana home, despite the promise of a better future by Brother Luke. After enduring another sexual assault, Jude escapes, resorting to hitchhiking and prostitution. In Philadelphia, he collapses from an infection and ends up in Dr. Traylor's custody, who sexually assaults him, starves him and eventually abandons him in a field after severely injuring him with his car. Jude wakes up in a hospital, paralyzed and under the care of social worker Ana.

part 5 chapter 3

In the years following Jude's confession about his past to Willem, they adjust to each other's limitations. Willem understands that Jude's mental health issues won't be fixed and makes sacrifices for him, like seeking sexual satisfaction elsewhere and buying a home suitable for Jude's physical needs. Jude, in turn, accepts a smaller role in Willem's public life to protect himself from people from his past. At 46, Jude becomes wheelchair-bound, facing the reality of future amputation, and starting to experience health issues like unhealing sores, fevers, and hallucinations. Despite his situation, he manages to remain calm, mainly due to the care given by Willem and his friend Andy. After being diagnosed with a bone infection, osteomyelitis, and undertaking several months of treatment, he collapses during a walk with Harold. Jude eventually confesses to Willem that his disability is a result of what Dr. Traylor took from him. Like Willem, he must accept an imperfect life, leading him to agree to amputation. Although resistant at first, Jude finally gives in after seeing Willem's worry. The ordeal is challenging, but with Willem's assurance and reminders of his accomplishments, he manages to carry on. The four friends experience different levels of success. Malcolm establishes himself as a top architect, Willem earns acclaim in his acting career, Jude wins a big legal case, and JB captures Willem and Jude's relationship in his art. As Jude's health deteriorates, Willem grows stronger, tackling demanding roles, and even taking their friends to his film sets. Together, they commission Malcolm to design a countryside retreat, Lantern House. They often invite Malcolm, his wife Sophie, and JB for weekend visits. One day, while Jude prepares a meal and Willem goes to pick up their guests, a drunk driver causes a fatal accident, killing Willem, Malcolm, and Sophie.

part 6 chapter 1

Willem was a star in Orpheus and Eurydice, a film now marking its 20th year, with its promotional material featuring him spreading across New York City. Despite this, Jude tries to preserve Willem's memory by using his fragrance, wearing his clothes, viewing his films, and perusing his emails. He convinces himself that Willem is on a space movie set, writing him emails each night starting with “Dear Comrade” without anticipating any replies. He recalls being told about the accident when the authorities visited Lantern House, but he has hazy memories of the events that followed because he was in the hospital under medication. Apparently, an intoxicated trucker ignored a stop signal, which led to the accident that threw Willem out of the vehicle, killed Sophie, and critically injured Malcolm who remained on life support until his organs were donated by his parents. Jude doesn’t have any memory of the three funerals. He takes legal action against all parties involved, from the transport to the car rental companies, including individuals at all levels, uncaring of the fact that they cannot compensate him for his loss of Willem, his objective is purely to cause them distress. Willem was a part of Jude's life since his adulthood, which he considers his real life. His coping mechanism is to bury himself in work and sleep when he's not working. He finds it absurd that he survived while Willem didn't and irrationally loathes JB for making it through. When he visits Lantern House in search of more memories, he uncovers that Willem meticulously documented his own life and relationship with Jude. Amid his busy schedule, he's startled when Richard invites him out for dinner, only to realize he's forgotten his own birthday. Richard presents him a bust of Willem, and Jude finally unpacks Malcolm's legacy to him. The legacy contains two miniaturized models of houses created by Malcolm; Lantern House and the Lispenard Street apartment he shared with Willem. That evening, Jude finally reaches out to JB.

part 6 chapter 2

Amid a new routine, Jude pays visits to his former law mentor Lucien, who no longer recognizes him due to a stroke. Seeing Lucien's personal side is both intriguing and unsettling for Jude. His care for Lucien reminds him of his own days under Willem's tender care, which brings a sense of relief. He continues the visits primarily to give Lucien’s wife a reprieve from her duties, just as he wished for Willem. Later, he goes to see the Irvines, providing a listening ear to Malcolm’s father’s reminiscences about the son he lost. Jude, hoping to escape one of Willem’s film anniversaries, immerses himself in work in Beijing. However, a poster of Willem triggers a self-destructive episode. Upon his return, seeing promotions for Willem’s last film sends him spiraling. Dining with Malcolm’s parents, Richard, and JB, Jude recalls a bookcase Malcolm built for him. The effort Malcolm took in fixing a minor flaw illustrates, to Jude, Malcolm's respect for materials and spaces. Jude struggles with eating and general living, and despite a promise to Harold not to, he contemplates suicide, albeit without acting on it. Andy, Jude's doctor, announces his retirement and introduces Jude to his replacement, who Jude knows he won’t see. The inability to discuss his past still haunts him. A fallout with Andy ensues, but they reconcile. Fearing the loss of Harold next, Jude is taken aback when Harold plans to move closer to him. Overwhelmed by the gesture, Jude asks Harold to leave and considers suicide. He berates himself for being argumentative with loved ones and overly reliant on others. At JB’s painting retrospective, Jude is taken aback by a painting of Willem. As he starts to reminisce with JB, he suddenly feels faint due to not having eaten. JB kisses him unexpectedly, leading to Jude tripping in his rush to leave.

part 6 chapter 3

Jude's recurring fainting spells are due to his self-imposed starvation. He secretly expects to hallucinate about Willem. He acknowledges that his conduct is irrational and comparable to old-world mystics. He feels a blend of sorrow and relief that he won't leave anything behind. He wants to stay alive for Harold's sake, but his willpower wanes as he wishes death through starvation. He starts to believe that his life has always been manipulated by others and credits his friends for his achievements, not his skills. As his health deteriorates, he imagines Brother Luke and Dr. Traylor discussing his fate. He rarely steps out, but when Harold and Julia shift to New York to be near him, their housewarming party turns into an intervention. His friends insert a feeding tube, watch over him, and make him consult Dr. Loehmann. Jude responds with malice and petulance. He rejects the food served to him by Julia and Harold, and even throws his plate against the wall. Instead of retaliating, Harold hugs Jude, and this triggers a memory of a past breakdown at Harold's home. Eventually, Jude returns to Dr. Loehmann and they talk about Jude's past. In the concluding part, Harold recounts their trip to Europe two years after Willem's death. During the trip, Jude wanders alone in Rome while Harold and Julia worry about him. When Jude returns to the U.S., Harold is scared that Jude might attempt suicide. He remembers Jude's struggles with his prosthetic legs and his frustrations. Despite their efforts to engage him in new activities, Jude's lack of enthusiasm is apparent. After his starvation episode, his friends agree to supervise him for a year. Jude turns down a promotion, citing travel plans. He and Harold often take leisurely walks. Finally, it's revealed that at age 53, Jude took his own life. Six years later, only Harold and JB are alive. Harold uncovers a letter from Jude about his past and feelings of deceit. Despite the tragedy, Harold hopes his kindness might bring Jude some peace in the afterlife. The final words of the book are Jude's narration of his rooftop jump.