Robert Rankin Books in Order

The final Brentford novel finds the End truly nigh, with apocalyptic omens piling up around the borough. Old allies – from Professor Slocombe to Elvis and Barry the Time Sprout – gather as Pooley and Omally face one last, absurdly high‑stakes fight for Brentford’s soul.

A supernatural storm has wrecked Brentford and awoken the First Folk, ancient faerie beings determined to reclaim Earth from 'Darwinian' humanity. With a wizard, a giant and two battered drinkers from the Flying Swan as its only defence, the town staggers into a last, wildly unpredictable battle.

Back in Brentford, an unnecessary ring road is pushed through by unnervingly charismatic town clerk Mr Pocklington. As construction begins, Pooley, Omally and their friends suspect a buried enemy and a scheme that threatens not just their shabby borough but the whole world.

First published in the nineteenth century, this accessible treatise explains the history of life‑assurance offices, the mathematics behind premiums and benefits, and practical examples and tables, with particular reference to mortality statistics from the city of Bristol.

A concise, practical guide for writers and creators, explaining how to gather proof of authorship, register copyrights in several countries, understand basic rights and royalties, and navigate common e‑publishing options so new work is better protected and ready for market.

A vast space liner called the Leviathan hosts celebrations for Queen Victoria’s ninetieth year on the throne in an alternate 1927. A reluctant schoolboy hero, occult showmen, space pirates and the Holy Guardian Sprout collide in a baroque adventure that cheerfully flirts with the end of the world.

Told in Darwin the ape’s own words, this memoir jumps from Victorian London to far futures as he recalls adventures with Cameron Bell, Martian invaders, doodlebug raids and weaponised chickens. All the while, an outrageous cosmic threat pecks steadily at reality’s shell.

Darwin, a cigar‑smoking educated ape, teams up with explosive‑prone detective Cameron Bell as London prepares a Grand Exposition of wonders from Earth, Venus and Jupiter. Between time‑ships under the streets, doomsday cults and a would‑be destroyer of both man and monkey, they race to prevent the End of Days.

Colonel Katterfelto brings his Clockwork Minstrels and unfinished 'Mechanical Messiah' to London’s Electric Alhambra music hall, promising heaven’s last gift to mankind. As a new monster stalks Whitechapel, detective Cameron Bell and Darwin the monkey butler investigate a scheme whose consequences may reach from the East End to Mars.

In 1895, nearly a decade after Mars invaded Earth, showman Professor Coffin’s pickled Martian is no longer pulling crowds. Hearing rumours of the Japanese Devil Fish Girl, he launches a quest through a British‑ruled solar system, unaware that capturing her could spark a second, far nastier Worlds War.

Rizla wakes in 1967 to find Britain ruled by Nazis, America a nuclear wasteland and even breakfast wrong. Summoned back to wartime London by Hugo Rune, he must help solve twelve cosmic conundrums, battling spies, killer robots and ancient gods to reset history and finally settle with Count Otto Black.

In swinging London, wannabe rock star Tyler follows a trail of legends to a graveyard full of zombies and straight into the clutches of the Ministry of Serendipity. Turned into an amnesiac assassin, he’s thrown against a magician plotting a dead universe, with Elvis and detective Lazlo Woodbine wandering through the chaos.

Musician Jonny Hooker wins a mysterious contest and must decode a four‑note motif that haunts every famous song. Hounded by secret cabals, hallucinations and his imaginary friend Mr Giggles the Monkey Boy, he uncovers a deadly link between the Devil’s chord, doomed rock stars and the end of the world.

Once mayor of Toy City, Eddie Bear has been stripped of his upgrades and left to drink away his days while Jack flips burgers in a diner. When a duplicate Eddie appears amid strange lights and toys begin vanishing, the old partners are dragged into a case that reaches far beyond Toy Town.

Grand magus Hugo Rune recruits amnesiac assistant Rizla to solve twelve bizarre cases linked to the hidden 'Brighton zodiac'. From bog trolls to space crabs and sinister conspiracies, each mystery brings them closer to the schemes of Count Otto Black – and to the truth about who Rizla really is.

Developers want to demolish Brentford’s beloved football ground to build executive homes, unaware the pitch sits atop the buried serpent from Eden. Press‑ganged into saving both club and cosmos, Pooley, Omally and the lads of the Flying Swan marshal magic, time travel and very dubious football skills.

In a dystopian 23rd century, William Starling stumbles into his ancestral memories and then into Victorian London itself, where Babbage’s computers, time‑machines and a hidden coven of witches have secretly reshaped history. With the help of Hugo Rune and even Sherlock Holmes, he must untangle timelines and unmask the cabal.

Runaway teenager Jack wanders into Toy City, where nursery‑rhyme celebrities are rich, spoilt and suddenly very murderable. Teaming up with battered teddy‑bear detective Eddie, he chases a serial killer whose calling card is a hollow chocolate bunny and whose plans threaten more than just the toy population.

The long‑dismissed Millennium Bug turns out to be real – a mutating computer virus ready to jump from machines to people. As Brentford is rebranded as theme‑park Brentfordland and tourists log on for fun, locals and journalists tug at a web that might just eat its users.

Gary Cheese, a bullied BT operator and amateur necromancer, discovers FLATLINE, a secret chat line to the dead hidden in the telephone exchange. Speaking to lost relatives and pulp‑fiction idols soon spirals into murder, conspiracy and a very peculiar answer to where stories really come from.

God has been found murdered in a dark alley, and hard‑boiled private eye Lazlo Woodbine is hired by the Almighty’s widow to solve the case. Between a neglected son, ruthless celestial relatives and demons walking the earth, he’s soon entangled in the most blasphemously ultimate whodunit imaginable.

An unabashedly erotic novel, Intrepid Coitions follows Nancy Dorman, an uninhibited young woman whose affairs span a string of lovers and increasingly daring encounters. Written in a frank, pulpy style, it focuses on sensual adventure rather than romance, with little concern for restraint or consequence.

Told as a twisted memoir, this tale follows Doveston, a charming rogue who brings snuff‑taking back into fashion just as the millennium bug crashes civilisation. As computer systems fail and governments wobble, his powdered empire spreads, and the line between harmless vice and global takeover vanishes up the collective nose.

John Omally finally chases his rock‑and‑roll dreams by managing Gandhi’s Hairdryer, a local band whose frontman can literally heal the sick. As fame and miracles spread through Brentford, Pooley and Omally discover that mixing divine powers with dodgy management attracts interest from forces far beyond the music business.

Billy sells his grandmother’s soul to a shadowy company, then inherits her handbag – which talks. Inside is access to the Necronet, a virtual afterlife where the dead gossip like chat‑room users, and one misguided click can unleash chaos on both sides of the grave.

The Ministry of Serendipity runs the world from a bunker under Mornington Crescent. When it learns of a starship that crashed into the Pacific four thousand years ago, it sends a paranormal hit‑squad to raise it. A mad, godlike alien begins to thaw, and investigator Danbury Collins would really rather someone just nuked the thing.

Brentford decides to hold the millennium celebrations two years early, while a geneticist quietly clones Jesus from the Turin Shroud. As strange vanishings, fake messiahs and a sinister committee converge, Pooley, Omally and the locals must prevent a very literal retail‑driven apocalypse.

Told through outrageously embroidered family anecdotes, this book chronicles generations of sprout‑farming preachers, levitating ministers and rhyming laymen. At its centre is a narrator whose own oddities suggest that in this clan, faith and far‑fetched tall tales have always gone hand in hand.

Young Robert dreams of starring beside Hollywood legends, even if they’re dead. His homemade hologram system and a bankrupt B‑movie director might resurrect the Golden Age on screen, but in Brentford, mixing nostalgia, mad science and large sums of money is a recipe for apocalyptic show business.

Lonely shop assistant Danny invents an imaginary dog for company, only for the dog to start talking back. Demolition teaches him how to hack barcode readers and answer dubious mail‑order ads, nudging Danny from shy misfit toward surreal, possibly murderous urban myth.

Fourteen‑year‑old Norman dies while trying to summon a demon and wakes up working for the Universal Reincarnation Company. As he learns how souls are recycled, he discovers someone is repeatedly pre‑incarnating themselves – a figure who could be the most amazing man ever born, or the Devil himself.

Subtle oddities mark the end of the age of reason: brawling politicians, rebellious baked hams and small miracles that steadily grow larger. As Britain slides from science into legend, a group of ordinary people find themselves dragged into a new era of romance, wizardry and looming catastrophe.

Allotment‑keeper Raymond is abducted by a flying starfish from Uranus and auctioned off as a delicacy, only to be rescued by Professor Merlin’s travelling circus. While he’s sent to free prisoners on Saturn and save Earth, his best friend back home faces men in grey and chicken‑worshipping cultists.

Still chasing the legacy of Hugo Rune, Cornelius and Tuppe are drawn into a hunt for portals to the Forbidden Zones and a mythic car park that might not obey normal space or time. Along the way they tangle with bureaucrats, zealots and the odd eldritch horror.

Cornelius Murphy and his diminutive sidekick Tuppe are hired to locate Hugo Rune’s legendary manuscript, said to reveal the universe’s secret rules. Their quest through cults, urban myths and forbidden zones uncovers a villainous half‑brother and family ties far stranger than Cornelius ever suspected.

Rex Mundi thinks he has found peace in Eden, a money‑free utopia of neat lawns and nosy neighbours. When Elvis mythology, sacred sprouts and a looming nuclear deadline collide, he realises suburban bliss may be just another version of the apocalypse waiting to go off.

The Armageddon saga continues as horrible things ooze out of computer screens, Elvis pulls his own face off and a talking Brussels sprout offers dubious guidance. Rex Mundi, Hugo Rune and a cast of misfits struggle to untie the lethal loose ends left by the first book.

In 2050, Earth is the star of a hit intergalactic soap, and ratings demand a spectacular finale. Time‑travelling Elvis, a talkative time sprout and assorted prophets race to derail a scripted Armageddon that cynical TV executives expect to go off with a bang.

When the Olympic Games are inexplicably awarded to shabby Brentford, a vast stadium threatens to crush Pooley’s illicit fishery and maybe the world. Training as unlikely athletes, Pooley and Omally uncover a sponsor whose plans for the Games are monstrously literal.

A towering office block and a cashless barcode scheme mark the arrival of Lateinos & Romiith, a high‑tech cabal planning a Satanic takeover. Cut off from the outside world, Pooley and Omally team with Professor Slocombe and Sherlock Holmes to stop the Beast going digital.

A strange arcade machine and failing electrics herald an alien invasion centred on Brentford. With inventor Norman Hartnell’s dubious gadgets in tow, Pooley and Omally must unravel the mystery of the Brentford Triangle before refugees from a lost planet claim Earth as their new home.

In the quiet London suburb of Brentford, ne’er‑do‑wells Jim Pooley and John Omally discover that a shabby local tramp is really a resurrected Borgia pope. Between pints at the Flying Swan, they must somehow stop his plans for a very unholy new Holy See.